Just a Smile
by PinkiPockets
Summary: Chibi Romano declares his love to Spain. But as Spain declines the love it leaves chibi Romano brokenhearted. As time goes on and Romano gets older he finds himself struggling in life and overwhelmed by the same nightmare happening over and over again.
1. Chapter 1

**Hiya! I hope you like my first spmano fanfic.. this was written out of boredness so I hope you don't mind.. I will warn you there is a lot of swearing in it and in during the story theres um.. some mild abuse sinces (if you know what I mean ,~ ) I suck on FF idk how to work it so sorry if things are a bit weird ^^; enjoy this fic~**

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><p><span>Just A smile..<span>

Chapter 1

Lately little Romano had been in a really good mood ever since the day Spain had rescued him from Turkey. Spain watched the small nation through a window keeping an eye on him making sure there was no trouble ahead as Romano got himself caught in a lot of it and his potty mouth was never a help ever. Romano turned his head briefly seeing Spain had been watching him in the garden from the kitchen window. He flushed and pouted his cheeks annoyed at being watched and hid behind a tomato tree stubbornly making it obvious he didn't want to be stalked. The Spanish man laughed at his shyness and opened the window and lent of it with a winning smile.. "Romano!~" he chimed.. "what are you doing out there" He peeked his head around the tree

"I…I'm playing.."

"mh?.. Really?.."

Romano nodded.

Spain then raised an eyebrow baffled, Romano was never the playful type.. He didn't have any toys nor he ever asked for any. He also never played make believe Romano was very realistic and would reuse to believe in Santa or the tooth fairy as such.

"what are you playing?" he asked with curiously.

"None of your business you bastard!" replied Romano without Spain surprise. "_language_" he mumbled firmly but keeping his voice at a low level fixing his eyes on the boy. With that Romano eyes glisters and he jolted back a little with a shaky voice of urgent "chigi! I-I'm Sorry!.. Can I play a little longer please" Spain kept his eyes locked on the boy for a few seconds but slowly releasing a smile as if he was teasing.

"Alright but come in before the sunsets kay? Oh! And could you pick the freshly tomato's that have grown?" once again Romano nodded and darted of "okay!"

Spain didn't bother to keep watching him as he had things to do and that if something where wrong Romano would surly yell out to let him know. He stretched and started to prepare dinner first starting of with cleaning the vegetables and cutting them up into a bowl. One thing he admired about the boy was he always thankful for his food. Although he was very fussy and would only ever eat fresh homemade food. But today Romano was not going to be thankful due to the fact he was making a potato casserole and Romano despites potato's but with Romano good mood hopefully he will forgive him and eat some of it. He made sure he give Romano a small portion of potato and just extra up on the tomato's as it was one of his favourites. He pealed the potatoes and put them on slow cook and decided to lay down on the sofa to rest. He couldn't keep his mind of Romano mood change. It changed ever since that time with Turkey. It made him smile to know that how grateful he was to him. It also made him a little sad to think someone caring for him would bring him so much happiness and for Spain point of view that wasn't right.. A child should be carefree and see it as natural to be helped when there in danger. Sadly Romano was mistreated before Spain had custody. His grandpa Rome favourites his younger brother abandoning him completely. Spain sighed and thought to himself.. "_If love is all he wants I can give him that.. I want to make him the happiest his ever been..__"_ Spain looked over at the window to see sunset. As on cue Romano comes through the back door.

"Ah Romano! Did you have fun outside? I hope you don't mind but for dinner tonight we-"

"I picked the tomato's for you" Romano stopped Spain on his tracks

"Oh grazes Romano" Spain smiled and puts the basket of tomato's on the little table in front of the sofa. Romano stood quietly and looked up at Spain.

"I've been playing a game" Romano says as he walks up to the sofa to sit down. Spain picks him up and sits him next to him as he struggles to get up on his own.

"mhmm you said~ what kind of game did you play?.."

"A finding game.."

A finding one?~ oh how nice~ what where you finding?" Spain asks happily loving seeing Romano acting so meek and like a normal child.

"A special gift to give to someone I find special" answers Romano looking at his hands in his pocket in his dress like top.

"_Could Romano be in love__"_ Spain thinks to himself.

"Oh I see.. What did you find to give to this person you find special?" Romano fidgets blushing but slowly takes a deep breath and takes out a beautiful red flower that had fully blossomed. The petals where moist and was tinted with a sweet fresh spring smell. Spain gasps and looks at the flower. "oh Romano that's so lovely! Wow you spend all that time looking for a nice flower for somebody? that's so sweet roma-" again Spain was stopped in his tracks. Not by Romano talking over him. By Romano gracefully placing the flower in his hand. It took time to adjust to what this meant had Romano given him the flower to him?.. Or had he gave it too him to look after? He turned to look at Romano for answers but his eyes spoke for him.. _The flower was defiantly for him_

Spain touched the flower tenderly but looked at Romano with concern. "R..Romano?.." Spain stuttered.. Something didn't seem right.. This wasn't just a kind gesture this was much more and Spain was terrified.. Not of Romano.. But of what to say or do.. What can he say to him?.. How does he?..

Romano then started to speak the words Spain dreaded to hear from the child mouth.. "I love you .. I love you very much.. I.. want you.. Will .. You be my boyfriend..?" okay Spain had to admit that last sentences was adorable but this was serious Romano wasn't kidding ever and by his whole body movement and his eyes told Spain it wasn't just a child crush. He started to shape up knowing he had to be the adult and tell him straight by putting the flower down "Romano I can't be your boyfriend I'm an adult.. You're a child" he pouted

"so?"

"so?" Spain echoed a bit harshly "its wrong and against the law you know that very well Romano"

"I know! I'm not stupid!" he bite back. Getting a little impatient with the kid Spain then muttered "Then why are you asking? Isn't that stupid?.."

"I don't care!" Romano shouted getting restless and also cranky from all the work he did in finding the flower.

"I don't care.. I love you.." his voice quilted. Spain sighed and put the flower on the arm of the chair next to Romano.

"That's enough Romano.. Go to your room.." Romano lip quivered and buried his head in his arms and let soft whimpers consume him. Rubbing his temples Spain looks at Romano tiredly "Romano I'm not going to ask again go to your room and I'll call you down for dinn- "

"SCREW YOUR DINNER YOU IDIOT" the young nation screamed picking up his flower and jumping of the sofa running to his room. Maybe it was the wrong day to make a potato casserole.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello me again ; u ; ~ i've written like 5 chapters as I had no internet so I gave myself something to do so hopefully you stick around to drop a review w~**

**UPDATE 16/04/13**

**I'm updating the chapters so there more understandable so sorry if I spam your inbox or something ,~ **

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

_"Potato is sickly.."_ Spain said to himself sitting by himself eating his dinner that he wasn t really enjoying.

He wasn't sure if it was the potato that was making him feel sick or the pinch of guilt that creep up every now and then. It wasn't so much of saying no to him it was more that he could of said no in so many other ways. suddenly he had lost his appetite. Romano hadn't came down for dinner.

Its not like him not to eat one of Spain s dinners. Even it was something he didn t like he always just ate what he could. He decided to take the dinner up too him. Maybe it might be the wrong thing to do but he couldn t handle little Romano hungry. Taking out all the potatoes in his dinner as he thought it wasn t the best of day to make him eat some (plus he wasn t too keen on it ever) and started to boil some pasta. After the pasta had boiled he put it on the plate along with the salad. A pasta salad?.. Spain thought to himself thinking it seems a bit of an odd dinner but never the less he knew Romano loved tomatoes, olives and pasta so he should cheer up hopefully.. he walked up the stairs and to his room and stood at the door and knocked.

"Romano? Hey can I come in please?.." he waited for an answer but there was none "I m coming in anyway okay? Don t get angry" slowly he opened the door to see a small lump in bed under the covers. He walked over to him and put the plate on the bed side table. "I brought some dinner up for you .."

Romano huffed under the covers..

"I said I didn't want anything damn it.."

"You got to eat something" Spain insisted. "I got rid of the potatoes for you.. And I made you some pasta. .."

he didn't budge Spain was sure he would for pasta. But he spoke..

"Your just like everyone else"..

"Huh?.." Spain asked confused.

"Yeah.. You don t care about me!.."

"No! that's not true roma!" he went to touch him but his mumbled cries under the covers continued

"Yes it is! You only care about my land and the money my stupid grandpa Rome left behind when he passed away.. you don t love me!." Spain eyes widened in realizations. What was I thinking being so cold to him?! Spain cussed himself manly hating himself.. I m supposed to be the country of passion.. And yet I couldn't even explain to him the love I felt for him wasn't romance.

"No, no, no Romano.. I love you very much.." he pulled the covers of Romano to see him curled up in a ball holding a stem of a naked flower. The petals where all ripped off. The petals scattered all over Romano in the ball he laid in. A small patch of wet was near his pillow where his tears had soaked it. Biting his lip he slowly picked up the bundle of petals and a trembled boy and pressed his soaked face to his own shoulder.

"No no.. I m so sorry Romano.. I should of explained to you.. .. he wiped the remaining tears of his red face .. I can t be your boyfriend.. Because I don t love you in a romantic way.. The love I feel for you.. Is unconditional.. Do you know what that means?.."

The younger one held onto his shoulder an sniffled an reply

"yeah well no.. how can you love me but it not be romantic.." Spain smiled well.. he lifted his face of his shoulder and got out his hanky and passed it too him and Romano blew his nose wiped his face ungracefully while Spain went to explain.

"You know how you get me angry sometimes.. When you use foal words, and when you keep wetting the bed, when you don t do as your told, or when you draw on the walls, or make a big mess and not clean it up?.." Romano nodded a little a bit worried at what his going to say.

"hm mh.." he quietly said.

"Well it makes me very angry" Spain said but smiled. but I still love you.. "That s unconditional love.." Romano went quite tilted his head to the side.

"I don t understand?.."

"Hmmm.." Spain looked in the air for a bit to think of a way to explain. "Alright.. Let me try a different way of explaining. Y.. you know lovers right well.. What do they do?.."

"They kiss,.. hug,.. hold hands be in love, and do grown up stuff." Romano said

Spain blushed awkwardly "ehh.. Yeah that s right!"..

_"How does he know all this stuff?"_ Spain wondered to himself.

"But they get married don t they?"..

"si?"

"Right.. So if you got married to a pretty lady and she was a mean and broke all your stuff and shouted at you and she fell in love with someone else? What would you do?." Romano pulled a face "I will dump the bitch!" Language Spain sighed but was too busy trying to cheer him up to be angry. "Yeah me too.. I wouldn't put up with it ether.. But.. With you Romano.. I would.. No matter what you do.. Even if you broke all my stuff and told me you hated me and fell in love with someone and got married.. I will always .. Always love you.. I may not be IN love with you.. But I ll always forgive you.."

Romano looked at him with somewhat understanding expression but still with disappointment. Leaning his head on his chest he started fiddling with Spain necklace that had a cross on it.

"Do you understand Romano?.."

"Yes" he replied

"But I m still hurt.. You turn me down!" Spain started to laugh and Romano pouted whacking him "Its not funny damn it!" Spain composed himself

"ah I m sorry I m sorry.. Aww but I m sure if you ask someone your age they won t refuse.." a small sigh escaped Romano. "Yeah they will.."

Sadly Spain pouted.. "Why would they?.."

"Cause nobody likes me.. They don t even give me a chance.." Spain moved his hair out his face

"you have plenty of time to wait.. When your older.. You will find someone who will give you the chance"

"yeah.. I guess.. ." There was a silent s for a few seconds until Romano craw up to the plate and started to eat the cold pasta.

"Do you want me to heat that?".. Romano shook his and ate most of his dinner leaving a few olives and a bit of pasta as for being tired. He brushed his teeth and his hair and got changed in the bathroom while Spain took out his plate and cleaned the petals of the bed and put the stem of the flower back on the side of the bed.

Romano came out as Spain held a handful of petals._ "Poor flower.."_

"Tsk.." Romano hissed and jumped into bed and Spain covered him over.

"You know.. You could of kept the flower and given it too some little girl I bet she would of loved it!" Romano turned the other way and yawned.

"Nah ..that flower meant nothing to me.. So it wasn't worth keeping.."

"Awww don t you like flowers then?~~ " Spain asked.

"No" Romano put it bluntly..

"Why did you spend your time looking for one then?" Another yawn escaped his mouth, as Romano tried making his reply tiredly.

"Be...cause I know..you.. Like flo wers.."

"O..oh.." Spain said guiltily .. But leant over and kissed him gentle on the forehead.. "Sweet Dreams little one".. and Spain turned his heel and walked out leaving the door half open for a bit of light.  
>Romano opened his eyes as soon as he left and looked at the stem of the flower sadly.<p>

"Stupid flower.. Stupid heart getting me into trouble.. I hate this.." Romano closed his eyes falling into a nightmare and still in love with Spain.


	3. Chapter 3

**sorry this was a short chapter as it was a filler = w = heh.. well its kinda funny some of it was written by my little sister so... lol.. idk how that's going to go down like leave a comment pwease~~? **

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><p>The next day Romano went to visit his brother for the day leaving Spain in a empty house feeling the need of his friends right now so he gives them both a call and twenty minutes later there both show up and Spain opens the door and gets embraced by the smell of odour and wine Oh my we came as soon as you called! Whatever is wrong with my Spain! France had said wrapping his arms around Spain neck. Spain found himself pulling away Ugh France three words for you. Have. A. Bath. ah~ you no like the smell of my manliness?. MANLINLESS? HA don t make me laugh a loud voice said from inside the kitchen. Prussia was in the fridge helping himself too food getting stuff out to make himself a sandwich and Spain physically face palmed. I can not believe you just creped in my house and helped yourself to food! I m hungry! I hadn t had anything to eat! France wrapped his arms around his neck again. and plus you phoned us so tell Papa France what s wrong?~ He said teasing stoking the side of his face.<br>Nice try France but whatever your going to do.. You will never turn me on.. Spain had never been turned on by his touching as his become so used to his flirting but then again he didn t show much sexually interested for anyone he never seemed to get turned on ever. Sometimes I wonder why I call you guys friends. Prussia came into the living room with his sandwich Well some fucker has to love ya.. Thanks Spain said sarcastically. But anyway.. I need your guys advise. well go on dear~ France said sitting down flam boyish. Spain took a breath and told them.. Last night Romano told me he loved me and I mean that kind of love.. France and Prussia both smirked awww they sang guys!, this is serious his a kid! Prussia took a bite out his sandwich you know.. It wouldn t actually be wrong if you did go out with him I mean he s not actually a human so neither are you so what s the difference plus you don t age like human Spain sighed you can t be serious.. His a child still! It would be really weird and wrong and I m not a pervert unlike France Prussia busted out laughing with rather large chunks flying out his mouth.  
>OI and ewww, remarked France wiping and ham off his face whilst sulking for being called a pervert. Seriously Prussia? Announced Spain. that s discussing.. all over my floor too Oh well I m awesome Prussia yelled. France sighed well putting aside you just called me a pervert why don t you go out with him when his older?.. I don t have those feelings for him Spain says numbly. How do you know?.. France questioned. I feel in love with England but ah his not in love with me oh well his missing out his missing out but I don t see the problem of it But I can t France! I Just .. Don t think I could see him as a lover. If you say so~ France hummed. He is a little cutie Prussia says finally finishing his sandwich Oui I haz to agree with that France says. Well you guys haven t been much of a help Spain mumbled.<br>France put his arm over Spain shoulder. Look all I can say is don t throw out the possibilities of you ever falling in love with him you could break his little heart but if you are worried about the time being just be yourself but try your best to not make any wrong moves to make him get the wrong idea yeah that s gonna be a little hard.. Spain muttered.  
>Why?.. can t keep your hands of him? Ksesesese! NO! its just that he had a bad dream last night.. Oh the poor might.. France says with emphasis Yeah I ran into his room because he was screaming. He wanted to come into bed with me but with what happened that day I told him he couldn t because it just wouldn t be right especially well knowing.. You know?.. That he loves you? yeah Spain groaned.<br>You could be thinking way too much into this Spain kids often fall in love with there parent or carer its just all apart of growing up or it just could be that he just likes the attention.. He didn t have much of it before you.. He might get over it.. Or you could fall in love with him.. You never know~~ Thanks France.. But I can assure you.. I won t fall in love with him. well good luck with that his going to be gorgeous when he grows up. France says laughing.

And as time and years got on and Romano flew out the nest and became a man he didn t see Romano much anymore only every now and then a quick hello and goodbye. France was wrong. He wasn t in love with him. But he was beyond gorgeous.


	4. Chapter 4

**TIME LOOP~ 8'D just in case people got confused Romano now lives with brother and Germany (since there going out ) oh yeah I forgot to say there will be side pairings like getita, USUK and a tiny bit of prucan and others but i'm not going to say as I don't want to give it away~ mwhaha**

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><p>Romanooooooo are you sure?.. you ll be okay? I mean.. don t want you to get lonely Italy whined at his brother. Romano peered down from the book he was reading. I said I ll be fine brother Italy frowned b.. but.. But what? Romano asked Its valentine day.. Romano rolled his eyes. so what?.. Its just a money making day! I really don t give a shit Italy are you ready?. Germany entered the room. vee.. Yes..let me make sure my brother is okay Germany nodded and went back into the kitchen. Italy then sat with Romano and stroked his hair what will you do when I m out? Italy! Cut that out quit treating me as if I m sick or something.. I don t know .. Watch TV..read a book.. Um.. I don t know but I m fine on my own. I m sorry brother I just worry about you!~ call me if you need me I made some food I put it in the fridge for you to reheat and theres plenty of red wine in the fridge and oh if you get cold you could put the heating on an- ITALY! Romano stopped him geez I m older then you don t baby me I can look after yourself.. Italy go.. Have a nice time.. Italy smiled and hugged his brother for the last time Ti amo fentello! Romano grunted urgh I hate hugs get off go, go! Don t keep the potato bastard waiting any longer, he might turn into the incredible hulk or something. Laughing, Italy let go off Romano I ll see you later then!~ yeah sure bye and with that he hears the door shut and he s alone. Romano puts his book down and picks up the remote to see what is on.. The first channel was some discovery channel program that showed a polar bear and with an obnoxious male voice Urk.. Animals.. Fucking hate them.. he switched the channel over. Football worst then the discovery channel he flicked again A Romantic film was on.. Certainly something he really didn t want to watch.. He flicked again. And again.. And again.. Everything was romance obviously due the fact its valentine day. Discovery channel it is then.. He turned the channel to back to the discovery channel to find the polar bear was now mating.. is this some sick joke.. He turned off the TV and laied down thinking of what to do. Then it came to him. Sleep.. he ll have a siesta although its rather late for one but he didn t care. He closed his eyes.<br>Meooooooooow He opened one eye. Italy cat is begging for attention. go away Itabby he pushes his little head down gently and he meowed whining putting his paws back up looking at Romano. Meooow..  
>Romano gave up and picked up Itabby You lonely too?.. Romano spoke to the cat Meooow No wait! I m not lonely, damn it! I mean are you bored?.. .purrrrrrrrrr what the fuck am I doing?.. I m speaking to a fucking cat.. Romano sighs and puts the cat on his lap and fell asleep. ~~<p>

A candle was lit by the waiter who served Germany and Italy at the very exquisite restaurant. The music playing was wordless melodies of bittersweet violins and cellos. The table was decorated in a rouge tablecloth with fine stitching of floral patterns. Tiny Pink and white confetti shaped as hearts circled the chocolate coloured candle where the flame danced tremendously.  
>Fascinated with the flame Italy struggled to keep the urge to blow it out but he somehow managed to keep himself not doing so. For a minute Italy lost himself in the flame and started to put his index finger towards the flame. Italy! Germany says alarmed grabbing hold of his hand gently to stop him. O.. Oh vee! That was close!~ sorry about that thanks for stopping me Germany! Y your welcome but .. Italy dear.. You have been a bit spaced out. Are you okay?.. Germany questioned worriedly. Feeling a bit guilty for making Germany Italy started to apologize rapidly. Ohh I m so sorry Germany! Darn.. And I made you worry! Ahh I m so so so sooooooo sorry! I m the worst boyfriend ever! I-I-I wouldn t be surprise if you want to break up with me n..now.. Kya! I m so sor- Germany had leant over the table and stopped Italy words by joining there lips kissing him not caring about people watching them. After the kiss broke Italy smiled bashfully tucking his hair behind his ear. v..vee~.. That was nice.. Good.. So um.. What s bugging you. Italy smiled a little a and picked up his wine taking a sip. I m just worried about my brother.. And not so much about valentine day I mean In general. What do you mean?.. Germany asked Italy gracefully put his hand to his own heart. I feel it you know.. What he feels.. Sometimes.. Only when it hurts a lot.. Germany reached over and held his hand.<br>Italy are you in pain?.. Smiling Italy shook his head and closed his fingers around his hand. No I m not in pain.. It only hurts a bit. It just makes it more painful at the fact his in immense pain for me to be able to feel some of it. Germany wasn t quite sure what to say. He half felt a bit angry at Romano for this fact mostly because he didn t like too see Italy hurt or feeling sad. Your brother is a strong guy and a smart one.. I don t think he would do anything stupid Germany tried to sound reassuring. Italy. yeah your right replied Italy. The waiter arrives with there food and they start to eat making small talk between bites. The evening was nice and pleasant and the music was relaxing. He felt selfish but Italy wasn t thinking of how Romano was doing, or if he should phone him to see if his aright he simply was having a lovely evening. Germany coughed awkwardly and started to speak. Italy?.. ..  
>Hm?. Italy cocked his head. Germany scratches the back of his head and licks his lips. You know I love you right?.. Italy blushed.. Yes.. And I love you too by the way.. Right Germany returns and a blush creeps on him too. He gets up from his seat and up to Italy and holds Italy left hand. Italy heart began to race. Italy.. Germany said. He gets a small red box and places it in Italy hand. Will you marry me?.<p>

~~ Buzzzz, buzz, buzz What the..?.. Romano opened his eyes Buzzzzz..buzz buzz.. He started too look around to find the source of the noise. Looking down at his stomach he sees Itabby curled up snoring quietly but the noise wasn t coming from him. Finally he realises the vibrations in his pocket and gets his phone out and pressed answer without looking at the caller since he knew it would be Italy seeing if he was aright.. yeah?.. Romano answered groggily There was a familiar giggle. But it didn t belong to Italy..  
>Hello to you too Romano A Spanish accent replied. S..Spain! Romano yelped falling of the sofa making Itabby jump at the same time. Duh.. didn t my name come up as a caller?.. Romano looked at the caller on his phone<p>

Ongoing call:  
>Tomato Bastard 0:19<p>

yeah it did Romano says in a high pitched mocking voice. I just didn t take notice.. As I was asleep.. Ohh.. Sorry Romano did I wake you? Asked Spain. Of couse you did otherwise I wouldn t of needed to mention I was asleep! Romano rolled his eyes Ah si si of course.. Well anyway that answers one of my questions already if you where at alone on valentines day and well nobody should be alone on valentines day so I was wondering if you would like me to come over to keep you company we can celebrate single awareness day together!~ Romano tutted pff.. Your not single.. Don t lie! ohhhh but I m not Romano.. Are you lying?.. No.. I don t give a shit about love.. Its for people who can t stand on there own two feet.. you speak so many lies Romano~ don t worry boss Spain will cheer you up.. You know.. Its not a bad thing you know.. w.. what isn t?. Depending on someone.. It isn t bad to have someone help you stand on your two feet.. Romano grumbled. So do you want me to come over?.. Yes .  
>No.. Aww why not! Because you re giving me force hope.<br>Because If I wanted your company I would of phoned you a while ago! Ohh but I want too see you Romano.. I miss my little boy.. Then come and see me.. I m an adult now its okay now.. Stop treating me like a child Spain!.. I m not even your child!.. Geez.. And look at the fucking time.. Its late.. Urgh.. You piss me off talking to me like that.. Screw you.. he ended the phone call and curling up on the sofa again. damn it, damn it DAMN IT! Romano found himself hitting his forehead with hand. Why did I fuck up the chance of seeing him again.. Suddenly his phone started flashing showing he had a text. It was from him Romano opened it.  
>Sorry : (?.. goodnight Romano sorry to wake you xx.. Quickly Romano made his reply. Goodnight. .. he put his phone in his pocket and hid his face in the sofa. He decided to go to sleep he forgot about the dinner in the fridge but he wasn t hungry. Not anymore.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**whoa long chapter is long! ^^; sorry about that but this is the last update for a bit as i'm currently writing chapter 6 ~ btw WARNING **

**this is the chatter with a bit of abuse but its not completely detailed I just couldn't do that ,~~ I hope you like **

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><p>"Fetello wake up now!.." Romano felt his shoulder being shook.<br>Grunting Romano opened his eyes to a rather annoyed Italy peering down at him crossed armed.  
>Romano yarned and rubbed his eyes "Oh ciao Italy.. What time is it?.."<br>"Too get up" Italy said bluntly walking out of his room.  
>"What's his problem?.." He thought to himself. It wasn't often Italy got mad but when he did he was pretty scary but so was himself and he really didn't feel like arguing as it always ends up in blood (yes blood.. ) and tears.. And then they both end up falling asleep exhausted from crying so much. Getting dressed he wondered what he did too piss his brother off. He put on a plan short sleeved green top with a dark teal coloured hooded buttoned top but leaving the buttons undone and black jeans. Making his way into the kitchen his brother had made him a coffee and fruit salad.<br>"T.. thanks.." awkwardly says Romano sitting down and eating. Italy ignored him.  
>"who pissed in your cereal?.." Romano asked getting quite annoyed at being given the cold shoulder. Italy turned around crossed.<br>"Romano I though you said you can look after yourself?.." Nearly chocking Romano swallowed his food. "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?.."  
>Italy crossed his arms again. "you didn't eat the dinner I prepared for you!"<br>"o..oh that .. Sorry forgot to eat.. Was tired.." sighing Italy looked at his brother with annoyed expression. "Romano.. You can't just forgot to eat.. Seriously fentello I thought you said you didn't need looking after yourself. Plus! You fell asleep on the sofa and Germany had to take you up to bed so you best thank him when he gets home."  
>"w.. wait!.. Germany took me to bed! H..how did I-"<br>"I undressed you don't worry.." Italy rolls his eyes. Romano made a sigh of relief and drank his coffee.  
>"Romano! Your not even listening to me are you? Your supposed to be older and you act as if your-.." Italy stooped himself looking at his brother who quietly sat drinking his coffee. "Romano?.. Are you okay?.." his anger deflated and he sat by his brother side.<br>"The tomato bastard Spain phoned.. Really insensitive well.. Kind of.. He didn't even realise what he was saying.." Italy now feeling bad softens his voice.. "do you want to talk about it?.."  
>"no not really.. But since you where so up my arse about not eating I had to shut you up and bring it up again.<br>"s…sorry.. " Italy said quietly.. "I just worry about you.. Oh.. And Romano.. I have some really good news to tell you.. I'll tell you tonight when Germany is back from work.  
>"oh okay" Romano shrugged and ate the rest of his fruit salad not really thinking much into what Italy had to say. Everything was good news according to Italy.<br>"Oh another thing!~" Italy cheerfully adds. He walks over to a pot and takes out some money and gives some to Romano. "Can you go shop for me please and get some olive oil and some ingredients for a lasagne tonight?. Groaning Romano replies  
>"Your fucking kidding me?.."<br>"pleassssssssse" Italy begged "I'm busy doing world business stuff and tidying its at least you could do~ plus fresh air would do you good." with that Romano agreed and took the money with a bit extra as Italy said he could buy a tomato to tie him over before dinner. The walk to the store wasn't long but he hated going around the narrow ally where teenage scum hung around. They all stared at him shouting offensive slurs "Does pretty boy play for another team like his brother?"  
>"Faggot!~"<br>"look who it is Mr vampire who never comes out his house"  
>"did you lose your way the mental hospital that way" the chanted and laughed but Romano wisely choose not to act on it. Luckily it was daytime and so other people where around making it more of an advance to get away without being beaten. They never pick on Italy due to the fact he has Germany and Germany could possibly take them all out in one go. He safely got to the shop and started to do the food shopping for Italy. It didn't take him long looking for the ingredients as he knew what he needed to get, It was the line he waited in to be served. It was being held up by one person chatting to the person who was serving him.<br>"Seriously?.. People like him shouldn't be allowed to talk wasting time" Romano peeked around the person in front of him to see who the moron was keeping the line busy and too his horror it was 'him'..  
>"Shiiiiiiiiiiiit! Its Spain.. Please don't see me please don't see me please don't see me.." Romano tried his best not to be noticed. Finally Spain waved happily like an idiot at the one who served him and started to walk away. When Romano thought it was safe to come out Spain turn back round "Oh I nearly forgot my credit card! Oh! Hi Romano!~~"<br>"Great…"  
>"Hi…" Romano tried to sound excited putting his items on the counter as his being served.<br>"Um yeah" Spain replied.  
>"About last night-"<br>"Its fine" Romano interrupted "you said sorry.."  
>"I know but.. Can I ask what did I say exactly to get you mad?.. I want to make sure I won't say it again." getting annoyed Romano packed his own bags not even making eye contact with Spain.<br>"Well that just defeats the whole object of apologizing now doesn't it?" Romano imputed sarcastically.  
>"Why you blaming everything on me? You got angry at me when I was trying to help.."<br>"Sp- Antonio!.." he called him by his real name people where listening in as they always do…  
>Spain looked around also.. "yeah?.."<br>"it wasn't so much of what you said it was the way it come across and.. It.. It hurt my feelings!" He paid for the stuff. "bye.."  
>"no wait Romano!" Spain caught up with him and grabbed his hand. "Please Romano.. I miss you don't throw me out of your life I care about you.. I'm worried about you.."<br>Romano looked surprised.. "w.. why are you worried idiot?.. I'm fine!" Spain shaked his head "You live with your brother and his boyfriend.. You haven't got a job.. Your sleeping at early hours of an evening.. You hardly speak to me.. Or too anyone.. Romano.. Speak to me.. What's wrong?.."  
>Romano pulled away "Don't pity me! You haven't in no right to judge me!"<br>Spain stops him again. "NO! I wasn't trying to I-I damn it! you know am a airhead! what I'm trying to say is.. You are welcome to come here again.. You just don't seem happy.."  
>"well I am happy and what I do is my fucking business. I don't need you anymore let go of me. Now." Spain slowly released his hand. Romano didn't look back and went out the door. He quietly walked back home luckily the teenagers weren't there he really wasn't in the mood. Arriving home he dropped the bags onto the floor in Italy kitchen put the rest of the change on the table. and Italy looked over from the living room on his laptop. "Oh your back! Thank for doing that you really saved me a job-… Romano?.." Italy got up and put his laptop down and went over to Romano who was staring blankly at the ground. "Are you okay?.."<br>Romano looked up. "Hm? Oh I'm fine just have a fucking headache.. I'll be in my room." without waiting for a reply he walked up the stairs shutting the door burying his head in his hands.  
>"Damn it.. You Idiot.. I love you.. And all you do is treat me as if I'm your child or keep giving forced hope" He found himself sitting there for a while drifting of into another sleep and started to have a nightmare.<br>~~

"Leave me alone!" Romano pleaded the grim reaper.  
>The grim reaper didn't speak. He pointed his long skeleton finger at Romano and got out what looked like tarot card. The reaper held it backwards so what was on front was hidden. Suddenly he turn the card in his hand and on it was<br>"FAILURE" printed in which looked like blood writing. Romano shook with fear. "I..I said go away!" but the grim reaper just pulled out another card.  
>"UNLOVED"<br>"Stop it!" Romano begged. Another card was pulled out.  
>"ALONE" before Romano could open his mouth another one was yet again pulled out. "USLESS" By now Romano couldn't say anything but watch the cards that the reaper pulled up.<br>"WORTHLESS"  
>"NOTHING"<br>Romano held his head shaking it furiously  
>"NO!" he ran out of the room into completely blackness. He didn't know where he was.. Or where he was running too. But he needed to get away. There was a door it looked filmier. It was 'he's' door. Spain door. He ran too and knocked furiously but found himself falling through the door as it was open.<br>"S-Spain?.. H.. help me! S.. Spain?.." he looked around.. Empty.. And no reply. Without really thinking he ran upstairs and into his old room that was unchanged closing the door, and closing his eyes sliding down the wall panting.  
>Then he heard sobs. Child sobs. Opening his eyes he saw what be believed was a child curled up in bed. It was him.<br>"That time.."  
>He watched himself cry holding a stem of a flower. There was a noise at the door. A banging one. Romano looked at the door frightened as the handle started to turn he stood back from the door. Without realising he stood back against the bed where the he thought he's child self cried but he was no longer there. Looking down at the bed with horror.. The tarot cards where spread on the bed. Furious he started to rip the cards and turn to run out the room, but the grim reaper was there, blocking his room to move.<br>He let out a scream falling back onto the bed.  
>"Go a-a-away.. L-l-leave me a-a-alone!" but the grim reaper crawed onto the bed and went up to him and put his boney hand on Romano face and tenderly stoked it making Romano shiver at the sensations of the bone on his cheek. The reaper then lent in and spoke to him in a whisper.<br>"you know.. You can make the pain stop.. You can get rid of your anger.."  
>Romano opened his eyes that had tears in them.<br>"h-how!" Asks Romano desperately  
>The reaper wiped his tears<br>"come with me.. They all don't need you anyway.. Your no used to them.. Come with me.. And you will find happiness.."  
>Shocked at what he was saying Romano reply's..<br>"A.. Are you saying I should kill myself? N..no! I don't want too!"  
>"you can make it quick and painless.. Don't be afraid Romano… this is the only way.. your life will get worst.."<br>"NO I won't kill myself just because other people don't like me I won't! Never! GO AWAY NOW!"  
>"Your Grandpa sure didn't love you.."<br>"I don't care about him!"  
>"You're a burden to your brother.."<br>"S-shut up! Don't you think I know that?"  
>"Spain doesn't even love you.."<br>"I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.. He doesn't love me.. B-but h-he cares for me!"  
>"but he doesn't 'love' you~ no one does no one.. Your nothing but a an "UNLOVED" not even a full country who always will be "ALONE" and "USLESS" to anyone, you have no value.. Your "WORTHLESS".. your not anything .. Your nobody .. Your "NOTHING" Darkness started to eat the room. And himself. Slowly he panicked as he jumped of the bed trying to reach to the door. He fell through the darkness he kept falling and falling<br>"ROMANO~~"

Jerking up straight drenched in sweat he looked around his room shaken up and panting.  
>"it was a dream.."<br>"Romano!~~ Dinner is ready~~!" the voice called who woke him.  
>To his relive it was Italy.<br>"s.. si l..let me just go to the bathroom.." he got up a bit wobbly and went into the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and thought about his dream.  
>"you know.. Maybe he was right.. I don't belong in this world.." Romano shook his head to shake off the dream and dried his face and went downstairs. Italy was setting the plates down that looked delicious. Romano envied his brother cooking he was so great. Not that he couldn't cook himself, it was just Italy was so much better. He was at everything. That's why he sloveds Envied him. Italy gasped. "Goodness! Fentello your pale! Are you sick?" he puts his forehead to Romano's"  
>"Italy I'm fine" Romano pulled away. "I just had a bad dream.. No big deal.." Italy hugged him<br>"awww bad dreams are just big meanies bullies! Don't worry about it~ its scary at first but at least you wake up and know its not real no?~"  
>Romano shrugged. "I don't know.." he sat down for his food and to his surprise Germany was there looking at him.<br>"Oh hi.." Mumbled Romano.  
>"Hello.." Germany replied awkwardly. Italy sat down with his food.<br>"Well anyway we have good news to tell you anyway so hopefully that will cheer you up. Oh by the way wasn't there something you wanted to say to Germany" Italy eyed Romano and made a little head movement to Germany direction. Sighing Romano turned to Germany and mumbled quietly "Erm.. t.. thanks. For taking ..m-me to bed last n.. night.." Germany blinked a couple of times.  
>"No problem Romano."<br>Everyone started to eat and it was silent apart from Italy asking how was Germany day at work and Germany complaining about his boss. Half way through dinner Italy speaks  
>"Oh right! I almost forgot~ Romano?.."<br>"yeah?.." Romano looked up from his plate.  
>"Me and Germany has too tell you something~"<br>"go on" Romano fiddled with his fork putting food into his mouth.  
>"Well I was going to tell you last night but you where sleeping and I wanted too tell you while Germany here." Italy smiled biting his bottom lip putting his hand on Germany's hand.<br>"Germany asked me too marry him!"  
>Romano raised his eyebrow and looked at Germany and back at Italy.<br>"eh… how weird of him.. what did you say?"  
>Germany rolled his eyes<br>"Romano that was rude" Italy said but smiled  
>"I said yes silly!"<br>"why?.." Romano said with no expression.  
>Narrowing his eyes Italy looked at him<br>"Because I love him fentello.."  
>"Oh" Romano retreated to eat his dinner.. "congregations I guess"<br>Italy and Germany stared at Romano for a bit who was eating his dinner slowly. During the rest of the dinner Italy went on about the wedding plans what the colour theme was going to be. Who was going to be there, who was going to make the decorations, who was going to make the cake, until Germany nudge his shoulder and Italy looked at him.  
>"Romano" Germany mouthed to him, and Italy turned to see Romano looking like his going to cry as he pretends to eat. Pushing back his chair Italy gets up and walks to his brother side kneeing down, and puts his hand on Romano's who jumps a little.<br>"Romano, look at me."  
>Romano shakes his head looking down.<br>"Please.." Italy rubs his thumb over his hand.  
>Romano got up to walk away<br>"no no! stay" Italy demanded like he was some dog pulling him back down on the chair.  
>"Don't tell me what to fucking do!" Romano hisses at Italy<br>"Romano please! Look at me!"  
>"What!" Romano looked up trying making his glare look angry burying away his sadness.<br>"That doesn't work for me fentello and you know that.. I can feel your sadness.. Tell me what's wrong?.. Why you so angry at me getting married to Germany?.. Is it because you don't like him?.. Are you jealous because you don't have anyone?.. Or don't you want me too be happy? Is that it?"  
>"Its none of those things! Especially the last one!" Romano now pushes Italy aside and makes his way into his room, Italy looks at Germany apologetically and follows his brother up the stairs and into his room.<br>"Then what is it?" asked Italy.. Romano sighed.  
>"I only not long ago just reunited with you Fentello after all these years of not seeing my brother because of that stupid snobby nose Austria ripped away our connection. And now your getting married to the person who played a great part of that!"<br>Italy leant on the wall.  
>"T.. that was a long time ago now.. P.. plus! We are together now right?" Italy walked over and gave him a hug.<br>Romano struggled his way out of the hug. "that's going to change now though isn't it?"  
>"what's that supposed to mean?" Italy pleaded.<br>Romano started to pack his bag.  
>For a minute all Italy does is watch registering what was happening. "w.. wait what you doing fentello"<br>Packing his bags Romano looked over at his brother.  
>"What does it look like?.. I'm moving out.."<br>Panic hit Italy and he stumbled over to his brother.  
>"n.. no! stay! Please I don't want you too go!" tears formed in Italy's eyes<br>Romano wiped Italy tears softening his tone.  
>"I have too.. Its only mean time you want your house back. If you and potato bastard is getting married then I'm.." Romano shudders at what his going to say next. "I'm in the way of your love life" The thought of seeing his brother and Germany being all romantic all the time, kissing, saying weird romantic things, and even hearing them at night, This terrified Romano he didn't want that. It wasn't because he was jealous or the fact he hates Germany. It was he's brother. He had a hard time showing it but Romano cared a lot for Italy. He wasn't sure if he would end up killing the German if he ever heard them… well doing it.. Italy now put his hand on the bag Romano started to packing to stop him.<br>"No.. Romano no.. your not in the way at all! Don't ever think that!" Italy freely let his tears fall down his face. "I love you Fentello a.. and I don't want you too go! Yes I know I'm being selfish asking you too stay here but I don't want you too leave! Your not in the way at all!.." Romano sighed replying quietly  
>"I love you too fentello." Italy looked up and smiled lightly wiping his tears away with the back of his hand and hugged his brother hoping he wouldn't push away. Romano didn't in fact he slowly put his arms around him too. After a while they spoke for a bit Italy telling him that he would like Romano to walk him up to the Ilea and how he would make Hungary maid of honour as she did so much for him when he was young and Romano had to admit Hungary was a nice person. Italy leaves Romano alone now and goes back to the kitchen to clean up. But Romano can't help but feel as if he couldn't live with his brother anymore. He felt as if he was just a broken part of his brother. Italy could do everything better then himself he could cook better, draw better, make friends, and even have a relationship. He knew it would only be mean time that people would look down at him. As always. And the thought didn't go away of hearing his brother and Germany again he quietly shudders but made a decision. He will leave. And it will be tonight. Sonner the better he thought to himself because that way Italy can get used to him not being there. He had nowhere to go and Romano certainly was not thinking of staying at Spain's house. He waited until Italy and Germany was asleep and packed a bag of clothes to get ready to leave. For the night he would stay at a motel but will start looking for somewhere to rent. He had no idea how he was going to do it but never the less he was heading for the door. Before he left he turned to look at the house. Bring back memories of him and his brother. Times when they used too cook together, and drink red wine, flirt with girls who would swoon at the sweet pick up lines they both used to come up with. And nights when Italy used to jump into bed with himself as he hated to be alone. But it all changed as soon as he dated the potato bastard. Italy no longer needed him anymore. He had Germany to lean on. Romano put his bag down and headed for Italy room. It was quite so it was save to go in. quietly opening the door he sees Italy soundlessly sleeping looking charming. Making sure he didn't wake Germany on the other side of the bed Romano kneed down quietly and kissed Italy forehead..<br>"Goodbye Italy.. And I'm sorry.." he walked out quietly and quietly left the house.  
>It was dark outside and cold. Romano shivers and whines.<br>"f…f.. fuck… I.. its…f.. fucking.. c…cold…!"  
>The street lights gave of dim lights but not enough it was still very dark. Romano made his was through the ally which then he realises what a big mistake that was. The teenagers where there and they all turn their heads towards Romano. He gulps and starts walking past them. Its too late to turn back now.. They will chase him. The sound of footsteps make Romano gasp and drop the bag without looking back and starts to run. But sadly the teenagers saw this coming and got to Romano fast before he could make a head start.<br>"whoa hey pretty boy where do you think your going at this time of this night?" one said grabbing his arm.  
>Romano didn't reply and tired to pull his arm away.<br>"looks like his running away" one says as they tip open Romano bag and kicking his clothes across the street.  
>"awww" one mocks making his way over to Romano. He was a bit older then the other ones. Maybe in his 30's? but for ever reason he hung around with teenagers that where age between 17 to 20. He smelled of weed strongly as he smirked in Romano face who struggled to get free from the grip of the teenager. The older one started to light a cigarette and smoked it.<br>It was weed. When he saw Romano curl his face up at the smell he blow the smoke directly into his face making Romano cough as he gagged.  
>"Why don't you speak.. Beg us not too hurt you?.. Go on.. I wanna hear your Italian accent." says the man. Romano refused to give them a show. He was not going to beg as he still had his pride. Lifting up his head he glared at the man and spat in his face. "I beg nothing but for you too wash your hands after you take a shit you fucking scumbag" there was a low hum of teenagers ohhing and hissing. "Kiss your mother with that mouth?" asks the man.<br>"Nah he kisses his brother with it" says the teenager who gains a few laughs.  
>The man raises his eyebrow amused.<br>"kitty sounds angry did I anger you?~" teased the man.  
>"here kitty, kitty!~ " the teenagers echoed. Starting to feel intimidated Romano starts to tremble. "d.. don't call me kitty! L.. leave me alone".. now there all laughing. Romano is dangerously vunable unable to keep the stubbornness up. The guy circled him like a tiger hunting its pray it was then he heard the man say something. He couldn't hear what he said but he heard the last sentences "Just don't kill him after your done he's mine.." It was then Romano felt it. Both his arms being pinned back and then a painful fist hitting him hard in the chest. It took his breath away causing him to gasp. He tried to pull himself down to the floor so they couldn't strike him there. But it was no used his arms where being held back tightly so he was dangling. The teenager hit him again and again not letting one breath escape his mouth. Something warm started to leak out his mouth. It was blood. The metallic taste made Romano dizzy. He was then thrown to the floor causing him to hit his face to the concrete. His top of his eyebrow starts to ooze blood too. He makes an attempt to crawl away. If only he didn't feel dizzy. He could of gotten onto his feet and ran as he could run really well. A painful scream escapes Romano lips as they kick his sides making him roll onto his back. They pick him up and throw him against which felt like a metal bin. Romano could no longer think. He couldn't see everything was blurry more blood dripped out his mouth. There was a figure walking up to him. It kneed down and wiped the blood of his mouth roughly. He couldn't see who it was. But knew it was the man as he smelt of weed. He brought his face close to him again and whispered in his ear.<br>"Don't scream or struggle or I'll kill you.." The guy then brings his lips to Romano's forcing him into a fiery kiss


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi Hi! sorry for the lonnnnnnng wait, as soon as I started to write chapter 6 I got the flu and it set me back a bit.. , so I got a bit of a writer's block.. but I manged to finish up chapter with a BIG help from skribble-scrabble beta for me! :'D btw I have been noticing that people where struggling to read this as for the lack punctuation.. I think I messed up the files as I was SURE I added all the speech bubbles in and stuff so sorry for that mistake! (well whatever happened that is!) urgh I hate when you have so much going on at home that you feel really I don't know.. like your head is in Space meh i'm talking to much.. enjoy the next chapter~ leave a review? I love to hear from you all :D 3**

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

The sun awoke Spain from his comatose sleep. Yawning he rubbed his eyes and he stared at the crack in the curtains. "A new day" Spain was delighted being optimistic as usual. He smiled to himself as he made his way into the kitchen making a coffee, thinking to himself, "Today I will apologise to Romano for being an airhead." Spain finally found out what he needed to apologise for he thought about it all night and went over the conversation over and over.

"I miss my little boy." Of course. Romano didn't want to be treated like a child although he couldn't help it, he cared for him so much that it came naturally to him. Looking at his watch he figured it would be too early for him to phone as Romano would most likely still be asleep as the Italian was known for loving his sleep.

After he made his coffee and drank it he went to have a shower and got dressed for university. He studied Medical care as he always wanted to help people. It was the one thing he enjoyed the most (along with making people smile and laugh.)

During class Spain mind wondered "Romano has become really beautiful." It kept crossing his mind. His eyes would glow a wonderful mixture of amber and green which reminded Spain of sunsets. His skin looked like gold and it looked too expensive to touch. His chocolate colour hair was to die for. Spain often thought his own hair was too dark but Romano's shade was just perfect, the colour every girl tries to dye their hair too. Suddenly Spain pulled himself out the daydream and continued listening to the teacher. As the long day finished, Spain let out a sigh of relief happy to finally get out of class. He looked at his watch for the time which read half past four.

"Romano has to be awake now~" He pulled out his phone and his eyes widened from all the miss calls he had. None were by Romano but by his brother, Italy. Counting correctly that there were over thirty of them. A little worried Spain presses speed dial to phone him back. It took two and a half rings for before Italy answered frantically.

"S-Spain? Where you b-been? N-n- never mind is my brother w- w- with you? I-is he okay? P-Please t-t-tell me his w- w-with you!" Spain could hardly keep up

"N-no he's not with me, Italy what's going o-" before Spain was able to finish Italy started to break down into tears and drop his phone.

"Hello? Italy? He-"

"Hello Spain, its Germany."

As if Spain couldn't already tell by the heavy accent.

"Oh hi what's going on?"

"Last night we told Romano we were getting married and I don't know the reason but it upset him, but anyway as you probably have already guessed he has gone missing"

Spain chest tightened.

"What was the time when you told him about you guys getting married?" Spain asked.

"Around 9:13, why?" Germany replied

He started cussing in Spanish for a while before he could answer.

"Because that would mean his been out all night!"

Germany sounded confused.

"Now Spain we don't know for sure he left at night. He could have left early in the morning." Sighing at Germany lack of knowledge when it came to Romano, Spain began to explain.

"When Romano lived with me as a kid he would get sometimes get so angry that he would wait for me too fall asleep and escape out of the house. But luckily I have sensor lights so the minute he was at the gate the light would turn on and I'd run out of the house to get him. By the time I got there…" Spain chuckled a little. "He would be climbing half way across the gate screaming "I think I can, I think I can!" frantically kicking his legs. It even got to the stage where I would wait for him by the front door and grab him before he could run out ahaha." Reality hit Spain. He had been going on so much about the times he had with Romano that he forgot where he was.

"Um so yeah, he would of left at night" Spain says quite embarrassed.

"… I see" Germany says awkwardly. "Well we looked around early afternoon and we haven't found him. I guess I don't need to ask for you to help?"

'What's that supposed to mean?' Spain said to himself. "Of course say no more, I'll find him. Tell Italy not too worry!"

"Spain" Germany spoke in a solemn tone.

"Yeah?"

"If what you claim about him leaving during the night is true and with this cold weather that we have been recently been having, do you think it's possible that he's…" Germany cuts off the end sentence as they both know what he's getting at.

"No… he's not, he's alive… I know it, and Italy would know if he wasn't!" There was an eerie silence.

"Well, there's no doubt that he's hurt. Italy is really pale and keeps panicking."

Spain nodded. "Thanks for that information; I'll start looking for him now." They both said their goodbyes and Spain started his search. He started near where Italy lived, he searched every street. Nothing.

The air was cold. Although the sun was shining, hardly any heat was projecting out of it.

The sun was starting to set and Spain had been looking for Romano for two hours. "Hang in there Romano, I'm coming." Night fell. Still no sign. Spain had to stop for the night even though he didn't want too but it had been five hours and Spain was becoming hungry and tired. Which made him feel worst because of how Romano must feel, out there all alone. But he had to go home. So he walked home. Arriving home he flopped onto the sofa. The only thing that ran through his mind was finding him he promised himself as he closed his eyes. "I'll find you Romano. I Promise."

It's the following day and Spain was up in a shot, he quickly eats something and drinks his coffee so fast nearly choking on it. He didn't bother with a shower so he got dressed in a causal white shirt and dark jeans. He picks up his jacket and steps in his shoes and gets out the house.

"He couldn't have gone far from where he started." He made his way to where Italy lived and searched around that area. It was quiet as it was morning. Going down what Spain thought was a creepy ally he stopped. He saw something crumpled up in the corner. He went up to it and picked it up and too his horror it was an item of Romano's clothing.

"Why is one of his tops lying here?" Picking it up, he looked around more to find a trail of them and a bag but no Romano. Shaking his head confused putting the clothes in the bag.

"What the hell happened?" People started to crowd the streets as its heading into afternoon when people do their shopping. Spain decided to investigate more; he slings the bag over his shoulder and looks down closely on the floor while people look at him as if he was crazy. Fear strikes him when he saw the small droplets on the concrete floor. Blood. It wasn't a lot but it was there and drips of it were leading to another little ally.

Spain ran he must be here, getting there he sees a metal bin where the blood stops. Still no Romano. He falls to his knees drained and feeling hopeless he puts his head back against the bin and closed his eyes, listening to people make menial chit chat. Then Spain heard them. Loud teenagers standing opposite him.

"So what did you do after we beat the shit out of him?"

Spain's eyes shot open and he quietly hurried over, making himself unnoticed by hiding behind a wall wanting to hear more.

"Shush!" One hissed "don't blurt out things like that during the day you idiot! And well I had a bit of fun. Then I took him somewhere where no one will find him."

Spain's anger rose.

'Calm down. They might not be talking about Romano' Spain tried to tell himself but it was too much of a coincident. One of the teenagers speaks.

"Good, don't want him telling anyone what we did."

"Yeah" the other one agrees. 'He sounds, Older?' Spain thought to himself.

"With his foul mouth you don't know what he will blurt out."

'That's Romano' Spain thought. For sure. Romano is the only one who would still have a foul mouth no matter what situation he was in. He wanted to take them all down at once, since he could anyway. But it was afternoon and everyone would see.

"So I see ya tonight al'rite mate?" says a teenager in horrid gangster slang.

"Yeah see you later kid bring the money and I'll give you more." The older one replies.

"What time?"

"8:30 when it's all dark"

Spain looked at his watch at the current time.

4:10pm

"Excellent" Spain quietly hums. He knew what he was going to do. It wasn't going to be pretty but he was too pissed off to care. He slowly crept away and went home to get ready for the night.

Looking at his watch it read 8:27, he had been there since seven making sure he was not late he wanted to be there before them. Some teenagers had arrived none of them had noticed Spain as he disguised himself to camouflage into the night. He wore a black parker coat that he zipped all the way up. And black jeans. He kept his hood up to keep even more hidden. As soon as all them arrived and they started to talk.

"You got the stuff?" the teenage mumbled as he shivered a little keeping his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah I do" said the man "give the cash then and it's all yours."

The teenager started to go through his pockets to get the money with his friends beside him waiting impatiently.

Spain made his way out his corner and leant on the wall and spoke in a mocking voice.

"Shouldn't you boys be in bed at this hour instead of hanging out with a dirty old man?"

They all jumped and looked over at Spain

"What the fuck!" one of them says as they all mumble to themselves. The man raised his eyebrow.

"And you are?" he asked.

Spain smirked. "I think it's best if you didn't know who I am." One of the teenagers made a tsk noise and made his way over to Spain pushing his shoulder.

"Was that a threat? We ain't scared of you."

Smugly Spain raised his eyebrow amused looking at his shoulder.

"Oh wow!~ didn't think it would be that easy to pick a fight I thought I'll have to throw a few insults in about your mum or something but meh~ I guess I'm the one getting old" With lack of effort Spain shoves the teenager who stumbles to the ground who looks up shocked.

"W-what the?" He gasped as he got back up but Spain had already pushed him back down and stood over him. And chimed in an intimidating tone.

"So what did that guy do? The one you beat the shit out of?" The teenagers other friend then made a leap. This didn't catch Spain off guard in fact it humoured him as he caught the one who made a swing for his chest, Spain grabbed the teen by his arm tossing him onto the floor next to the defeated one. The other teen leaped for his right arm. Spain gracefully moved it causing the thug to make a rather clumsy stumble given Spain the advantaged to swipe up the back of his legs with one kick that made him head first hit the floor. They all laid there groggily apart from two. The man and yet another teenager who stood in a hood with a broken bit of glass in his gloved hand.

"Well what are you waiting for? A-attack him!" the man ordered the teen. He hesitated but made a run towards Spain. Who again makes a fast move grabbing his wrist forcing the teen fingers to unlock around the glass. Spain then decides to pull the teen hood down to revel a trembling blonde teen who only looked only sixteen.

"D- d- don't h-hurt me sir! I never touched the guy I swear I - I just watched!" pleaded the blonde.

Spain let go of his arm.

"Get out of here kid."

With that the kid pelted it and so went the other teens until Spain called out.

"Hang on a minute. What about the big man?~" He said as he looked over at the man who was just about to make a head start but Spain had already pulled him back and was not going to go easy on this one ether. The man struggled as Spain locked him in a tight grip making his hand comfortable around his neck.

"Who was the guy you had a bit of 'fun' with?" Spain mumbled closely to his ear.

The guy was going blue but managed to stay corky as he laughed.

"Why do you want to know?"

"That's none of your concern" Spain says as he tightens the grip more.

"I-I don't know who it is, okay!" the man says in a panic. "Some gay Italian guy I think, with a foul mouth" Spain loosens his grip and the man gasped for air. Waiting for the guy to be able to catch his breath Spain asked him another question. "Where is he?" The man did nothing but smirk which made Spain sigh and grab his hair pulling him backwards. The man made frightened noise as he tried to untangled Spain's fingers from his hair. With no such luck his arms fell to his sides.

"I'm getting tired myself here so which means I'm in a bad mood, So for once in your life be smart, don't make me ask again."

He was now shaking.

"Four blocks down… In the second ally… he's behind the bin. H-he's alive though! .I think… L-l- listen it was those teenagers idea okay, they made me do it!"

Rolling his eyes Spain stood up still holding the man by his hair so he was two feet off the ground.

"I don't care whose idea it was, you hurt someone precious to me. And I don't take that very lightly."

"y-you're not going to kill me a-are you?" He pleaded Spain. Releasing his hair, Spain let the guy drop from that height causing him to cry out in pain, Spain bent down to his level.

"No. I won't kill you… I rather you live in fear hoping our paths never cross" He patted the man's cheek and gave of a warning smile. "Adios~" he begin to walk away from the man leaving him shouting.

"Y-you're not human! What the heck are you?" Spain turned for one last glare at the man. God he wanted to kill him. But he knew he'll be wasting his time getting his hands dirty, his only mission was to find Romano. After a long trek through the night he reached the fourth block. It wasn't a nice place full of garbage and broken glass everywhere, and rats. He turned to the second ally and held his breath and walked towards the opening. Then it hit him. The smell of blood and sweat.

Memories of 1588 took him by storm. The blood that he'd split, the blood that was split, the things he lost. He shook his head to block out the images in his head and ran toward the scent. His heart was beating furiously when his eyes started to fours on what was in front of him. Romano… no… a broken Romano. His body was twisted in an awkward position. His clothes were half undone exposing his chest with a purple/red bruise. His head was bowed to his chest. Spain shook with fear seeing Romano like this, his trousers where drenched in blood. Carefully Spain cupped the two sides of his face and lifted his head up to get a close look at his face and as he excepted blood caked it.

"R-Romano? Can you hear me?" he says in a gentle tone. He stroked his cheek to try to get a response but there was nothing. Panic hit him as he laid Romano down on his lap sitting on the floor with him straightening out his body. With two fingers he placed then on Romano neck to feel a pulse, the relief he felt a small pulse was phenomenal. He pulled off his coat and wrapped it around Romano. He was beyond cold, his finger nails where blue and his lips where blue and swollen. He sat Romano up and rubbed his back trying to give him more air. After a few minutes of pleading and gently patting, he heard a little squeal.

"Romano? S-shush you're going to be okay, alright. I'll look after you you're alright!" With that he picked up a limp Romano whom started to realize the immense pain he was in and whom then continued shriek out in agony.


	7. Chapter 7

**OMG ASDFG UPDATE I'M SO SORRY GUYS ;A;, Ughh i'm so bad at updating please forgive me /bows continuously/ **

**i've just been having a writer block.. i'm really bad at writing fillers.. yes this is a filler i'm sorry DX.. but its a long filler I hope its not too borning orz.. I feel so bad.. I really hope people are still reading.. i'm so nervous what people are gonna think about this chapter ,.. this hasn't been beta checked.. well only by my little sister xD but that's about it ;; I don't want to keep bugging people to help me! I feel as if i'm a pain ./. but anyway if you guys like this please leave a review! I love getting reviews also criticism would be nice too.. And when I say criticism I mean helpful advice, not hateful comments.. I know my spelling sucks, I know i'm not the best writer.. But creative writing is a big big thing I enjoy and always feel nervous about posting up.. I mean I don't even feel nervous about posting my drawings up because writing is more something I would love to head towards in the future, you might all think I have no chance but I will try. Just thank you guys so much for following this story / I didn't think people would like it since I wrote this out of boredness ~ Oh by the way i'm going to Rome tomorrow for a holiday :D! its my 21st birthday present ahah a lot has happened during my un-activeness huh?.. x'D i'm so sorry, i'll shut up now and let you read h-hope you enjoy! **

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><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

In and out of consciousness, Romano continued to sway his head. Spain's casual white top was soaked in Romano blood. He dare look at the damage. He kept looking forwards to the path on his way home. As he managed to get home after feeling like he was walking the mile. He quickly put Romano upstairs into his old bedroom switching the light on. Shakily he put Romano on the bed. Again he was unconscious. The top right corner of his eyebrow had dried blood that trailed down his face covering most of it.

Spain went downstairs emotionless and started to fill a bucket up with warm water. Well at least that's what he hoped he was doing. His mind was in a vase..

'why would they do this to poor Romano?..'

he turned off the tap and carried on thinking.. 'he didn't deserve this..' opening the cupboard under the sink he got out a medical box and a cloth.

The air felt as if was taken away as he walked upstairs seeing a damaged Romano laying there. He put the bucket down and rinsed the cloth in the water. Gently he ran it over his closed eyelid removing the blood from it.

Avoiding the cut area he cleaned all the stained blood of his face with delicate stokes. Although Romano unconscious he still felt pain as every now and then as he'll wince.

But never the less he needed to clean it for health reasons, he thought he'll let him know first so he warned;

"Romano?.. Do you know where you are?.. Its me Spain.. I'm going clean your wound.. So its going to hurt okay?.."

He opened the medical box and got out the rubbing alcohol. He hated this stuff with a pure passion.

It hurt like hell.

Adding it onto the cotton bud that was in the medical box and he pressed it to Romano eyebrow. As expected Romano reacted to the sensations and jolted and fought. Spain hushed him being very careful to not upset him too much. Carefully he treated Romano's wounds with gentle strokes, but even with that the alcohol still inflicted pain as his head swayed rapidly. After a little struggle Spain managed to cleanse his wound.

With steri strips he pasted his top of his eyebrow using six strips. Although he looked a lot better and Spain could now see his features, Romano wasn't repaired. Spain looked at the unconscious Romano. His lips where bruised and cracked. Without thinking he ran his finger over his swallow lips.

They where cold and dry, they started trembling, and his breathing aggressively started to rise. Spain hands seemed to mimic Romano's trembling as he put his hand on his forehead. By the feel of the heat projecting off him, he had a fever. Luckily the medical classes did teach him to how to treat them, but it didn't teach him how to stay calm.

He got the cloth again and dunked it in the warm water placing it on his head. Romano was getting worst and Spain was half wondering if he should take him hospital, but he shock the thought out his head hoping it wouldn't come to that.

Suddenly he remembered, he had to tell Italy he found him. He tapped Italy number in and began to explain to him the state Romano is in and about the men. It wasn't long after he made the phone call he heard frantic knocking on the door. Spain walked downstairs and answers the door to a teary face Italy who is clinging to Germany arm who is looking at Italy with concern.

"How is he?" Germany noted.

"Not well, come through, he's upstairs" Spain answers. Italy looked at Spain with a lump in his throat, Germany lead Italy upstairs to where they find Romano beaten and unconscious. Italy let out a shaky sob as he collapses next the bed his brother lied in. His eyes darted examining him. "frantello?" his voice trembled with fear.

Italy stroked his hair and looked at Spain while his lips wobbled. "H-he needs to go hospital Spain!"

"no!" both Germany and Spain agreed. Germany face soften and he put his hand on Italy's shoulder.

Before Germany could speak Spain spoke up. "W-With injury's like this we can't take him to hospital.. w.. we'll countries, our bodies function different" he explained.

Italy face was covered with tears and now a expression of fury. "I don't care!" he darted his head and stared at Germany with his glassy eyes. "I don't care.." he repeated.

"Italy.." Germany ran his thump over his tears.

"His in pain!" Italy screamed clinching to his heart and resting his head on Germany chest. "I-I-I c.. can feel it.. W.. why did they do this to him!? He didn't do anything.. I…its not fair.. A..a.. hospital can treat him better right?.. I-I mean who cares if we get found out his my brother he needs to-"

"ITALY!" Spain suddenly shouts feeling a bit guilty afterwards.

He is his brother, so he has the right to feel angry, sad, and hurt. But he was getting slightly annoyed due to a pounding headache and seeing Romano wounded.

"Look Italy" he rubbed his temples

"he'll be okay. I'm doing a medical course. I know what am I'm doing." He lied slightly, "Plus he hates hospitals lets not distress him." Germany nodded. "Spain's right.. He'll be okay dear." Germany stoked back of Italy head whilst his sobbing died down.

"I think its time to go home" Germany says. Italy nodded in agreement exhausted due to lack of sleep of worrying for his brother.

Before they went Spain asked if Italy could get Romano undressed into something cooler, as he started doing so Spain and Germany left the room.

"Spain, can I speak to you please.." Germany says darting his head towards the stairs. Spain lead the way and went into the living room closing the door. He felt as if he was back at school again. His ice blue eyes narrowed at him.

For a little while he didn't say anything, nether did Spain. He felt he needed permission to at this time.

He wasn't sure what he had done to make Germany look mad at him, but he was going to find out as Germany made a cough to clear his throat to get ready for his lecture.

As he does at meetings..

"You beat them, didn't you?.." At this point when Spain is in trouble he likes to pretend his English isn't good. "excuse me?, I don't understan-"

"Don't pretend you're English is bad Spain.. You know what I'm talking about"

Spain sighs and crosses his arms.

"I didn't hurt them, just scared them.." Germany held his glare at him.

"alright, alright I taught them a lesson. But I didn't really hurt them"

Germany rubbed his temples. "you can't go around fighting people!"

"I did it for Romano!, They deserved it!"

"Never the less Spain remember you're a country! One wrong move, you could blow your cover, or even kill somebody! You need to learn to control your anger!"

"Yes" Spain says obediently. "I know"

"it won't happen again will it?.."

"no.."

Germany nods and on cue Italy makes his entrance wiping his eyes. "I've dressed him c.. can I go home now..?.. I'm.. I'm drained.." Germany gently puts his arm around his shoulder "sure dear.. You go home and rest" Germany politely implies. Germany takes Italy's hand and leads him to the front door. "Oh.. um congratulations on the engagement.." Spain announces before they leave. Italy smiled as much as he could.

"Thank you" Italy replies, Germany nods his head saying his thanks. They both leave hand in hand leaving Spain alone with a sick Romano.

He really didn't know what he was doing. He felt bad lying to Italy.. He walked back upstairs to see Romano was still asleep looking uncomfortable. He kneed down next to Romano bedside feeling the side of his cheeks with the back of his hand. His fever hadn't gone down, and Spain was worried. With him being unconscious it gave Spain less advantage of being able to help. Spain knew the night was going to be long.

Six and a half hours of continuous fanning and forced water down him, worrying about dehydration. Waking him up and making drink water was the hardest part as Romano had no reorganization around him. After restless hours with Spain relief Romano fever starts to break out. Spain sat on a chair at the end of Romano bed and kept close watch hoping his fever didn't come back but while watching Spain felt himself drifting of. Tiredness creeped up on him and took over while he fell asleep.

Pain.

Was all he felt along with fear. The unwanted headache and aching rips where overwhelming and almost confusing. Romano tried calling out but his voice was hoarse, and hardy any sound came out of his cracked lips. He was almost afraid to open his eyes. Worried to were he'll awake from.

"_where am I?" _

he thought to himself. It took his courage to open his eyes at a creak. But he had wished he hasn't as the sun ray stung his eye's. He tried going slower and this time it wasn't so bad.

Everything was blurred. He examined the room but he couldn't make out shapes. Again he tried to call out, not sure what he was saying or who he was calling, just hoping if he was somewhere bad someone would help.

Romano moved his hand to reach out at the blurred object that was on beside him, but as from then his heart started to race, as for whatever he had touched was cold and it had slipped from out his hand onto the ground with harsh _clash! _sound making his ears ring and his body jolt.

Everything within that time moved fast.. Another sound came from his left ear. It was a voice. One he recognized. The voice got closer and the person the voice was standing over him a blurred figure of mixed colours of Gray, browns and greens.

The person's words started to become clear.

"Romano? No, no, your okay!. I-its me Spain.. Your aright just focus.. everything fine.."

'_why is he saying that?.' _He wounded. He hoped he hadn't been crying. It was then he put his hand to his face to feel if he had tears, he noticed his hands where trembling. Starting to come to his senses he realises what the person had just said they was.

'_Spain?' _

With a sigh of relief he relaxed to know he was safe. Slowly his eye sight started become clearer but his mind was still foggy.

He looked around to see he was in his old bedroom in Spain's house. No idea why he was here though, all he knew he was in a hell of a lot of pain.

"R..Romano?.. How you feeling?." Spain says softly. Romano turned to him who was looking down at him. The sun ray shined of his back and lightened his face.

He looked kind of tired, but at the same time handsome. His emerald eyes locked on his with concern. "Romano?.. Do you know where you are?.."

"Well, judging by your presents and this room.. I'm at your house.." replied Romano. Spain laughed a little but made a sigh of relief. Putting his index finger on his wrist and thumb at the back of his hand he felt his pulse, he asked again. "How you feeling?.."

Spain's hospitality made Romano blush.

"I feel…shit.. Yeah… what happened to me?.."

Spain eyes widen unsure what to say. "R..Romano.. Y..you where.. U..um.."

Romano tilted his head confused at Spain's hesitation while Spain mumbled to himself Romano started to trace back his last memory. The last thing he remembered was sitting eating dinner with his brother and Italy asking how that Potato bastard day was.

It was then it all came back to Romano. Italy telling him about him and Germany are getting married, the argument him and his brother had, him running away, the cold night.. The teenagers ,.. The _man.. _He put his hand to his mouth feeling sick remembering. Spain stopped rambling.

"Romano?.."

"..t..the teenagers.. And.. The man.." Romano trembled. He looked at Spain with fear "I know.." Spain says with sympathy. Romano shook his head furiously "no you don't know!" Romano blurts while he fought back his tears not wanting to spill them out.

"R-Romano - "..

"d-don't tell me you understand Spain!," Romano yelled hysterically. "y-you don't know what happen-" Without warning Spain had pulled Romano into a soft hug. "I heard them talking about you.. I heard him.. That's how I found you" Spain explained.

"I'm so sorry Romano.." he held him close careful not to hurt him. Romano voice was shaky. "H.. he s.. said he'll k.. kill me.. If I-I-I screamed o-or tried to s-struggle." Spain inhaled a deep breath closing his eyes and shuddering. Spain placed his hand at the back of Romano head to comfort him, but Romano pushed away and out his arms.

"D-Don't Spain I don't need your pity!" After a few minutes of silent's between them both Spain spoke up.. "H-Hey you must be hungry .. I'll make you something.."

"I'm not hungry, I ate before I left my brothers house." Says Romano unknowingly the time has passed.

"Romano.." Spain replies melancholy. "its been four days since you last ate"

A little thrown back Romano sat there undecided what to say, he simply nodded as a gesture in understanding he needed to eat, and with that Spain makes his way downstairs to make him something. Strangely he didn't feel hungry, just pain. Romano put his hand to his chest and flinched.

Flashbacks of that night flickered through his mind like an old movie. Remembering the painful swings they made at his chest.. The burning agony on his sides when they kicked him.. Then that man threatening him.. And kissing him.. and…

He's mind stopped there and he quickly put his hands to his lips and quietly thought to himself.

'_That would have been my first kiss if I was willing' _

Something inside Romano was punctured. He wasn't the oh-so-romantic-first-kiss-should-be-the-best, kind of person far from it. But something pulled and tugged at his sadness.

_Humiliation _

maybe that was it.. Well at least is what he put it down to.

Interrupting his angry thoughts Spain comes in the room smiling radiantly like dawn peeking through the night clouds.

If he didn't find it hard to smile he would of done by now, smile.

"Hey~.." Spain charms..

"…Hi.." he greeted back

"I made you some tomato soup, I thought I'll make you something light for your stomach Oh! its freshly made cause I know how fussy you are~"

He put his bowl in front of him on a tray.

"Thanks.." slowly he sipped at it letting the warm soup soothing his throat. He tried to resist licking his lips but failed too. his brother was a great cook. But Spain was a fantastic cook, he could taste the burst of flavour of the indigents.

"Do you like it?" Spain asked smiling like a dork sitting crossed leg on the bed waiting to be praised.

"Yes" responded Romano.. "Spain?" he uttered looking at his bowl.

"Hm?.."

Spain hums a reply. Romano looked the opposite direction and stared at the window.. "T…Thank you.."

"Oh its no problem~ glad you like it!"

"N-not just the food"

Quietly Romano mumbles keeping his glaze out the window. "f…for e.. everything.."

A silent's lingered between both men, Only the sound of the birds singing there merry song and the clock ticking away at the hours passing was present.

"Hey.."

softly Spain emphasized downing out the natural noises around them. With a lot of effort Romano turned his head in his position trying desperately to hide any emotions that might of shown on his face.

Everything that had happened left him feeling touchy.. More open then before, he didn't like the feeling of being exposed in such a state he shamefully showed.

Spain's hand wrapped around his wrist in a gentle grip naturally making his composure worst.

"_I was really.. Really worried, Romano.." _

Something about Spain's soft tone made him look up, his eyes were filled with worry and sleep deprived.

Shakily Romano swallows his coyness.

"You .. Was?.."

"W-we all was!" Spain pleaded.

"O.. Oh.." added Romano unfazed.

Selfishly he didn't care about "everyone else" '_who was everyone else?.'._ His brother?.. Germany?.. _'It wasn't like it was huge search party or anything' _he thought to himself.. His brother is naturally going to worry.. His a worry wart.. The only reason Germany would worry is the contraction him and his brother have and whatever happened to him will cause pain to Veneziano.

"Oh! I best let your brother know your awake" Romano groins in response. "hey his your brother you got to let him know!~" Spain insisted. Romano sat himself up more rubbing his temples "I know its just … I don't know.."

Spain pouted at his lack of response and started to dial Italy's number.. On the other side of Spain's phone Romano could hear Italy's frantic speaking but couldn't make out what he was saying.

Not long after Italy had arrived at Spain's house looking withdrawn and tired. "Frantello?.." Italy says shakily..

"Hi" Romano bluntly replies.

Spain winces at Romano unfazed reply, "_Romano.."_ he hisses. Italy looked at his brother hurt unsure what to do. "H-Hi?" Italy echoed. Romano looked up at him.

"I..is that all you have to say?.. H-hi?.."

"what do you want me to say, Veneziano?"

Italy face expression changed. In a fast pace walk he made his way to his brother bed and throw his hand around his face.

Spain reacted and grabbed Romano shoulders as he slumped over "I-ITAL-" Spain began to speak but was interrupted.

"Why did you run away for!?" Italy demanded.

Romano didn't have an answer, but more so he didn't want to answer.

He felt ashamed and embarrassed by his actions.. Maybe he was overreacting about .._everything_.

"Do you really hate me t-that much?.."

"No!"

Romano spoke up.. "No, I don't hate you.. I just thought you guys would want to spend time alone preparing, I don't want to be in the way"

Italy wiped his eyes.. "R ..Really? Y-you're not mad at me?.. I.. was so worried Romano! "

Running his hand through his hair Romano sighs, "I'm not mad.. I'm sorry for making you worry.." Without warning, although he should of expected it from his brother, Italy throw his arms around his brother making pathetic little whines pledging how sorry he was for slapping him.

After a while of Italy constant chatting, Italy decides to take his leave "So when Spain 'nurses' you back to health" Italy smirked causing Romano to slightly blush and glare at him.

"You can come back home with us and help me decide what wedding theme I should have!"

Romano nods tiredly.. Italy gave his brother a kiss on the forehead "Ti amo frantello~"

"yeah, you too" Romano yawns"

As Italy makes his leave Spain sits by Romano resting his hand on his own cheek looking at Romano questionably.

"w…what?" Romano asks awkwardly.

"You're really are an mystery aren't you?.." he says lightly.

Romano rolls his eyes. "What on earth you blabbing about?"

"Don't pretend you don't know" Spain replies.

"you could of cut that atmosphere with a knife, seriously what's up? You have been edgy all day about your brother coming."

"Shut up!" Romano says defensively. "Nothing was wrong, Veneziano sometimes gives me a headache sometimes that's all"

Spain sighs. "Romano.. You're not yourself, you don't seem happy about your brother getting married at all, when your brother was talking to you your replies where just, _hm,yeah..mhm,okay_, Its like something is on your mind.. Romano look at me!"

Romano flinched and looked up.

"see you're hardly paying attention, tell me Romano… what's wrong?.."

Biting his lip Romano looked back down. The truthful answer was he didn't even know anymore. After everything that has happened during the and having a bit of foggy memory, one thing stuck on his mind

His dream, no his nightmare.. The painful words _"Unloved, Alone, Useless, Worthless, Nothing."_ keep replaying in his head.. His real answer to Spain's question was "Everything" but he decided to go with the most told lie everyone tells. He looked up again and answered.

"_Nothing, I'm fine.." _


	8. Chapter 8

**UGH sorry guys, I forgot how to add text to the chapter xD its been such a long time since I posted again! I'M SORRY ;A; stressful year is stressful**

**** ( you're all probably fed up with hearing me say that ) I haven't felt motivated to write this.. but last night I finished chapter 8! I stayed up until half past four in the morning because I care for you guys xD.. I'm sorry if the chapter is a bit messy but I wanted to add a bit more screen time with Spain and Romano without it going over board since I want the story to be a building relationship as Spain's feeling aren't mutualyet I do please let me know if there's any mistakes! I have checked this over but yes as you all know i'm dyslexic I could of easily missed something so enjoy ****

****I always feel nervous uploading onto fanfiction I don't know why DX asdfghjkjkl; ****

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><p>Chapter 8<p>

"You need a girlfriend!" Spain voice raised with excitement.

Romano raised an eyebrow and peeked down from the newspaper.

"A what now?.." he asked.

"A girlfriend!~" Spain repeats. "Or do you prefer boys Romano?" he says tapping his chin looking up at the ceiling. Romano flushed "That's none of your business! Ugh.." he rubbed his temples annoyed. "besides I don't want a girlfriend OR a boyfriend."

Its been a week since Romano had been staying with Spain since the beating. Originally he was going to return back to his brother house but the thought sent shivers down his spine.. The thought of his brother swooning and swaying over a stupid wedding made his stomach turn.. Its not like his jealous or anything.. Or so he told himself. It was thought of getting married to Germany that bugged him. Germany hadn't personally done anything to him to make him hate him so much, and even though he hated to admit it ( well not out loud at least) he wasn't a bad person.. He was patience with his brother, and caring.. Never the less Romano couldn't seem to like him. So in end Romano choice to stay with Spain until he found himself his own house. He picked up the newspaper again to search for part time jobs while Spain kept pouting at him.

"Surly you don't mean that.. Everyone wants to fall in love!"

"Not everyone" Romano flicked through the pages.. Spain rolls his eyes and sat down on the chair backwards with his arms resting on the back of it.

"Okay, maybe not everyone but you do~" Spain smiles leaning his head arms.

Romano sighs and gives up looking for a job for the day he wasn't going to get anywhere with Spain on his case.

"Oh yeah? And what do you know about what I want Spain?"

"A lot actually~" Spain says cockily

"Trust me, you don't know anything.."

Spain inhales a deep breath and got up and went upstairs.

"Huh? Where you going Spain?" before he expected an answer he came down with his laptop "I'm gonna set you up a profile on a dating site~!"

"WHAT?!" Romano raged. "no you're not, you don't have my information"

That's when Spain smirked. "ohonhon yes I do~" Romano face palmed. "you sounded like France please don't" Spain laughs as he tapped his fingers against his keyboard silently. Romano became concerned..

"Spainnn.., you're not doing it are you?.."

Spain ignored and kept typing.

"Spain!"

He ignored and carried on writing..

Romano got to his feet "you don't even have a picture of me!" Without warning Spain got his iphone then snapped a picture of Romano. "I do now~ ah wait.. You're frowning! Right come on another one~ smileeeeeeeeeeee!"

Romano tries to snatch the phone "no!"

"oh come on Romano~ just smile its not hard"

"No Spain I don't want too!" Romano still kept trying to reach for the phone but kept failing.

"Its just a smile Romano.."

"I don't fucking care! Just give me that damn phone!.." Spain then tossed him the phone and Romano frantically started deleting it. Spain looked up and back down at the laptop. "Aww Romano no need to be so self-conscious, you're handsome."

"I don't want a picture of me all over the internet.. Or my details.."

"Hey Romano" Spain asked, blanking what he just said

"What should I put as you're sexuality?.. Women, men, or both?.."

"I'm not telling you.." Romano refuses to tell any information hoping Spain will give up.

"Fine, I'll make up your details then~" Spain chimed.

"Don't you dare.." Romano says lowing his voice dangerously.

"Sexuality.. Men~, What body type.. Hmm.. Don't care.. Ohh What age are you interested in?… 60 to 70 over~" Romano made a grab for the laptop but Spain pulled the laptop away which causes Romano to lose balance and fall straight onto his lap which lead to Spain falling backwards on the couch while the laptop flew out his hands and on the floor..

Romano face became beetroot. He can feel Spain's heartbeat against his own.. He felt Spain's hands around his waist making his heart run a marathon.

"Ohhhhh look what you doneee you broke my laptoppp!" Spain says in a childlike tell-tell manner..

"Oh shut up" Romano snaps. "Its not broken and its you're fault

for not stopping when I asked you too!"

Spain shrugged. "I guess so~ are you alright though?.."

"I'm fine!.. Can you get you're hands of me please!" he ordered.

"Ah! Sorry Romano, I held onto you so you didn't roll of the couch and hurt yourself, you're already battered and bruised enough." Spain released his hands of him and Romano rolled his way off and awkwardly pulled his top down and fixed his messed up hair. While Spain picked up his laptop and decided to give up trying to set a profile up Romano saw something that caught his attention..

"You still play guitar Spain?.

Spain looked over his shoulder and looked at his guitar sitting the corner of the room.

"Ah si.. I do " he answered..

"Thought you gave up.."

"nah just stopped for a bit.."

"What's the differences?.."

" I never give up"

Romano quit why he was ahead knowing it wouldn't get him anywhere debating his argument so he changed the subject slightly

"so why did you start playing again?" he asked. Spain smiled "Well it helps keep your mind of things you know?.. Stressful things.. I like keeping a positive mind at all times! So I'll play a song and sing!"

"I see" Romano rolls his eyes and ended the conversation.. "well I'm going to lie down.. I'm feeling tired.."

"Ah okay" Spain replied "but before you go.. Can I ask you a question?.." Romano signed, "If you must… what?.."

"What's the real reason why you aren't happy about your brother getting married?.."

As soon as the question was asked, Romano felt as if he was an criminal sitting in a chair of an dark investigation room where a rusty light would flicker on him. He desperately searched through his memory files in need to find an answer.. Not to just reply to it but to know himself.. 'The _real_ reason?..' he wondered endlessly.

"w.. what do you mean real reason?" Romano questioned.

"You know what I mean " Spain mumbled.

Before Romano beginning to fight his corner Spain spoke before he could

"This isn't about hating Germany is it?.."

Romano pursed his lips and bit the inside of his cheeks and inhaled. He suddenly felt extremely nervous, although he still didn't quite know his reasoning.

'_what is the real reason?..'_

He didn't quite notice his body behaviour had given him away, but he came to realization it did as Spain came to his feet and gently put his hands around his arms..

"Romano.." his voice said smoothly.

Romano jolted at his touch and stood back a bit in hope he would let go..

"Spain.. I'm tired.. I just need to sleep.. " he says defectively.

"not until you gave me an answer"

"I don't know Spain!" Romano urged his reply..

"I..I don't know.."..

Spain's eyes tried to make contact his own.. He kept his eyes and head away from his stare.. His touch was gentle, and his closeness was unbearable. His guard was dangerously down and he can feel himself about to go into a panic attack. He still felt Spain's eyes trying to read him, with a bit of effort he pulled himself out of Spain's grip. Romano didn't want to stay in that room any longer so he turned quickly but Spain noticed

"Are you lonely Romano?" Spain's voice riddled with sadness..

Romano paused.. He didn't know to ether look back or to even answer, Spain's voice echoed the hall way again.

" b-because if you are Romano.. Y-you're not alon-"

"Spain I can't breath.." he surprisingly whispers a replies..

"What?.. You can't?.. ohh maybe you should sit down" Spain took a step forward..

"No! ..n.. no I just need fresh air I'm just going to go for a walk" He reached for his coat and headed for the door

"I thought you were tired" Spain uttered..

"I just need air now" Romano got his coat on and left before he could hear Spain's reply. As fast as he could he paced away from the house. When Spain's house was out of his view he clumsily grabbed onto a tree for support. He knew for sure he was having a panic attack. It was a feeling he felt before when he was younger.

He stood there for a bit inhaled deep shaky breaths to calm down his breathing.. Romano didn't expect Spain to question him like that.. Not at all..

He didn't think he had the brain cells to even over think like that.. But reality kicked in, Spain hadn't over thought anything.. He was kinda right.. If Italy gets married.. Where would it leave him? Would his brother ever need him?..

Romano sighed and leaned back on the tree. He stayed there for a while as he didn't feel like going back. After he had calmed down he decided to go the café down the street from Spain's house.. He had been meaning to go there for a while but since the attack his been a bit scared to go to public places…

He reached the café and with his relief it wasn't full, although he still found himself going to sit at the back of the café. It was a lot like a café you would found in Venice. Petite but full of life and detail. Walls where filled with paintings of romance and landscapes. Gazing through the window he founds himself thinking how he could of made that situation with Spain any less awkward. Not running away was one them, he wondered if Spain noticed he was running away.. It was pretty obvious.

"_Damn it, damn it, damn it," _

He kept repeating this to himself in his head, almost so much he could feel himself saying it out loud.

"Romano?!."

A voice startled him. He looked over and saw the waitress he reckoned instantly.

"B-Belgium!?" he hissed quietly.

"Bella" she pouted pointing at her name tag, with that she throw her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I haven't seen you in ages! Goodness I've missed you!" his arms laid lifeless by his sides.

'_God, I hate my awkwardness why can't I just hug back.'_

"Um yeah like-wise.. How are you?.." he asked while she kept hold of him. She pulled away, "I'm great thank you!"

her smile suddenly subsided.

"huh?, What is it?" Romano asked.

"Oh, nothing, its just that… I was going to ask you but, you don't look great.. is anything bothering you?.."

Did she hear me talking to myself?, he wondered.. He hoped not, she didn't seem to ask who he was talking too… he then wondered if she had meant he looked bad, but he knew Belgium wouldn't say that, or ask if anything has been bothering him..

Its probably a girl thing.. Girls seem to sense things.. That scared him..

'_shit..'_

"No, not really" he lied, "I've moved back with Spain, due to my brother getting married.. I well just didn't want to get in his way so I moved out.. Been trying to find a job so I can earn some money to get my own place.. So yeah I've just been busy"

At first she seemed rather sceptical at first but then finally let it go she brought over the coffee he ordered and started making general chit chat, for what seems like a forever he finally felt a bit relaxed speaking to Belgium, she didn't ask questions that where related to his brother getting married. It was refreshing to not have the attention all on his brother..

"Living with Spain huh?" she says leaning back with her eyes closed. "what's it like?.."

Romano sipped his coffee. "awful, his annoying.."

She laughed, "you sound like my brother, he hates Spain.. He isn't that bad!~"

"I guess not" he sighs looking at his cup. "why do you ask anyway?" he added.

"Ah no reason" she responded. "I just think his really sweet.. And handsome, his the whole package you would want in a man.. I would of thought it would be amazing to live with him.."

He had no idea what it was, but suddenly he didn't feel so comfortable speaking to her anymore.. Something about what she said made him.. Angry at her.. Deep down his reasons where very obvious why, but his pride overcast a shadow on it.

" Sounds like a reason to me" he pointed out.. "kinda sounds like you like him"..

Oh how he wished he never said that.. It came out quite aloof, he could apologise but that's just opening a can of worms.. He really didn't want to do that, but he also didn't want Belgium to be angry at him. It wasn't long until Belgium spoke, Romano held his breath.

"W…Wha?.. You think I like Spain?.. I mean yeah of course but not like tha-" she froze in mid conversation and realization took over, she slowly looked over at him with a smirk.. "ahhh I see what's this about~"

Already on the defensive Romano protested.

"w-what o-on earth you on about?" He gulped his last bit of coffee down and stood up brushing himself causally. "well thank you for the coffee" he said quickly while putting the money down on the table.

"Ah wait Romano!" Belgium stood up and grabbed his hand.. "I'm sorry if I've made things awkward for you, I just want to let you know I'm hear to lend an ear if ya ever need too talk, kay?" she smiled tilting her head.. A small nod was given. He liked Belgium, she had always been nice to him. She never had judged or mocked Romano, he was grateful for that, she is the only person he would consider a friend..

"Thanks Bella.. Really, I'll see you soon okay?.."

"Defiantly!" she said smiling job worthy. "Please come again soo- oh wait! I just remembered" Belgium stated

"We are low on waiters and waitresses and since you're looking for a job why don't you work here?.. The pay isn't much but it's a start?!"

Romano had always been kind of clumsy, more so then his brother.. He wasn't sure if it was a wise idea to take the offer, with all the holding a lot of plates and glasses. He was pretty sure things would go wrong.. He had told Belgium he would have think about it although it seemed reasonable that he considered in accepting.. But mostly due to the fact he would rather work with someone he knew instead of having to try to get along with people..

Romano had been bad at making friends or in fact keeping them, he would get annoyed easily at people and hardly had any patience. With Belgium he figured it would be a bit easier… He felt a bit better after spending time with someone other then Spain or his Brother, it made him feel normal for at least a minute.. It wasn't as if he hated his brother or Spain nothing of the least. As Romano started to arrive at the door it opened itself. It had been opened by Spain himself. He looked relieved as if he had been waiting for Romano. Spain had let Romano walk in first then he gently turned Romano to his view..

"R-Romano I'm so sorry! I-I-I shouldn't of questioned you like that! I-I just think I'm helping but I'm not I'm just stupid! Next time jus…just tell me to shut up okay?.. I'm so sorry.."

Shocked by his out bust Romano was lost for words..

'_Was he worried about me?..'.._

" Look I don't expect you to say anything or forgive me, I just keep hurting you, and it isn't intentional I just want you to know that.."

Shaking his head back to reality he raised an eyebrow while taking his coat off. "W-What are you rambling about idiot?.. I just went out from some air" he says while hung his coat up on the coat rack.

"Oh, I saw Belgium, she works at the small café, there looking for more people to work there so I might consider it"

Spain's face lit up "Oh really?! That's wonderful~ I know you like Belgium~" Spain smirks and It takes Romano a few seconds to notice it..

"What's with that look?! You aren't implying what I think you're implying?"

"Well you're single she's single~ I'm just saying~"

Romano rolls his eyes while he took his shoes off

"And so are you~" Romano emphasized with a sarcastic smirk as he walked away into the living room.

"Hey!~" Spain laughed and followed him as his voice echoed down the hallway "Its not that I can't get a date, I totally can if I wanted one!"

The rest of the day was pretty normal, Spain being an idiot joking around and Romano insulting his jokes.. In all truth Romano loved this.. He liked when Spain was being stupid instead of being up and personal.. While staying with Spain, Romano has been finding it hard to not laugh at him.. ( he can't let him know he thinks his funny otherwise his head would explode ).. He wishes everyday was like this, but he knew it wouldn't last forever.. Sooner or later Spain will find someone to love, and he'll be in the way again.. And alone again..

After dinner the day seemed to go by quite quickly. Romano laid in bed staring at the ceiling. He wondered why Spain had asked him all those questions..

'_Is it that obvious..' _

He always thought of himself as someone is good at keeping themselves to themselves.. After a while of pondering he finally drift off into a sleep.

_Wedding organs echoed the cathedral as Romano had sat watching his brother smiling like a bride staring at his husband to be.. Something didn't feel right.. The organs didn't sound like it was supposed to be for a wedding, although the melody playing was. But the notes wasn't.. each note that played where far too long. Almost so much that it started to ring in his ears.. Also he noticed Spain wasn't here… He would definitely show up for his brother's wedding, he said he would.. Now that he noticed it, no one was there.. Apart from himself, Italy, and Germany and of course the vicar.._

"_Repeat after me" the Vicar says in a loud voice looking up at the stain glass windows. _

"_I Feliciano Vargas!"…_

"_I Feliciano Vargas~…."_

"_Take thee Ludwig Beilschmidt!.."_

"_Take thee Ludwig Belischmidt~…" _

"_In exchange!.."_

"_In exchange~…"_

"_Of my brother Lovino Vargas existence!.." _

"_Of my brother Lovino Vargas existences~!.."_

_Romano's blood drained while his brother made the vow.. _

"_n.. no…" _

_he tried to stand up but he couldn't. It was then he realized he was holding the rings on a light blue cushion that had gold sewing around the edges.. He tried to throw the cushion but it was like he was paralyzed and couldn't move his arms.. _

_No.. it was like he was being controlled.. His body moved without his will.. His head slowly looked up too see his brother staring along with Germany and the vicar.. The vicar had made a hand gesture towards Romano which had made his controlled body stand.. He walked up towards his brother with the rings.. He felt as if invisible strings had been tired around his whole entire body. Italy's eyes where lifeless as he smiled at Roman as he gently put his hand on his cheek.. "Thank you for this frantello, thank you for giving up you're existence for me to be happy.. I hope you know it's the only way…"_

_Romano managed to speak despite not being able to move his body.._

"_No.. I don't want this, h-how can you do this to me?!" _

_Italy said nothing but stoked his face with his thumb. It was like he couldn't hear him.. He was then forced to sit down while the vicar had made giving the rings to them.._

_He watched as they both put the ring on each other finger.. His heart began to race.._

_Italy and Germany had looked at each other again and in sync they both had said._

"_I do" _

_With that room had spun around furiously. _

_When it stopped he was by the side of the road where a car had speed past him which had _

"_Just married" at the back of it.. He was alone, or so he thought. A dark forest had creped up behind him and swallowed up any existence of a road. He stood in the middle of the forest unsure where to turn or go. But to his horror.. It was there.. _

_The same grim reaper from before.. It started to walk up to him in a fast pase.. Romano began to ran. He didn't want to look back but he did. The reaper had fastened his pase. Romano could hear his own voice whimpering in fear. _

"_No, no , no please no! no!" suddenly he had felt something grab him. He didn't know what it was but it had hold of him tight. He couldn't move he fought this invisible force desperately. He could see the reaper getting closer. He struggled with all his might until the reaper had gotten close to touch him. Romano closed his eyes and let out a scream.._

"Romano! Romano! Its okay wake up! Its me! Its me!"

His eyes jolted open still in shock he struggles and panics

"Romano!" A dim light had flickered on causing his eyes to dart around the room, then it met his eyes…

Spain's

His body was cradled by him holding him close.. Romano was panting as his voice trembled still.

"Shhh its okay, you're okay" he wiped his sweat away with his hand..

Romano had soft whimper.. His mind was in to much in a state of shock to act in any other way..

"What was all that about Romano? You where screaming you where almost crying! T-tell me! What's going on?"

Romano just shock his head tiredly..

"c….can't…."

"You can't what?.." Spain questioned worriedly…

"n….no more.."..

Spain lightly brushed his fingers through his hair.

"Okay.. We don't need to talk about…"

Romano had clinged onto Spain shirt tightly trying to get as close as possible.. His heart was beating out of control.. He couldn't think..

"s…stay…" Romano says in a hoarse tired voice..

"_Okay"_ Spain had whispered.. After a few minutes Romano drifted back into a sleep in his arms..

Spain had looked down at the sleeping Romano and stoked his face

"_I'm not going anywhere.."_


End file.
